Helium Party Balloons

A friend asked me:

I am supposed to DM for D&D for the first time since college (I’ve played RPGs since, but D&D is a thing of the past for me). A boy who has never played really wants to before receiving surgery for a life-threatening illness. Do you know how I can quickly bone up on the new rules and find a premade adventure (preferably free/online) that would be good to play? We just have an evening, him and some friends, mostly around 11 years old.

If you’re in my friend’s situation, I think you need three things.

"Behold, I make a good mouthpiece character! Also I am wearing a cool runic sash.""

1. A frame story that sets the stage and convinces the kids that what they’re doing is playing D&D
2. A mouthpiece character that lets you interact with them within the framework of the game to learn what kind of fantasy they want to explore
3. Some devices to hang that fantasy on and launch it in the direction that they unconsciously want it to go

To unpack each of these a little bit, #1 should be a classic D&D scenario. You go into a dungeon, a wind blows out your torches and while you’re in the dark some monsters attack. This frame story could come from an existing introductory adventure like The Wizards’ Amulet, or from your own memories of D&D games and swords & sorcery fiction.

You’ll want to keep this short – it should hit as many of the expected bases as possible (combat, treasure, exploration, encountering mystery, solving problems – that order is roughly how important/easy to set up they are). I’d recommend letting the kids tell you about the rules if they’ve played before, to show off their sense of mastery.

This stage is about establishing trust. You don’t want to lose them by getting the details wrong; you want to retain the authority they vest in you while asking for their assistance as participants in making this shared experience happen. You might say “Hey guys, it’s been a long time since I last ran an expedition into the Caverns of Chaos” (or whatever your old gaming stories might suggest). “I understand the rules have changed since then; can you help me make sure I’ve got it right?”

The one thing you’ll want to bone up on rules-wise is how the rules for monsters work, because when the critters attack you’ll be taking on an adversarial role (in the sense that a black-hat wrestler sneers and postures to give his adversary a chance to look good). In that role, you’ll want to keep the monster’s strengths and weaknesses a secret and be confident that you’re adjudicating its opposition to the heroes fairly. (You can let the kids tell you how their special powers work and the overarching procedures for combat, because that stuff is more of a joint responsibility; most groups assume the monster stuff is the DM’s purview, though.) I’d only choose one big threatening monster, or maybe a horde of weak minions. Complicated combats can take a lot of time with modern D&D rules, but you just want this to be like the scene before the credits in a Bond movie.

[Read the rest of Tavis Allison’s excellent article, published on Wednesday, and please leave any comments you may have on the original.]

Our friends at ThinkGeek have released a video that gives some insight into how they came up with some of their April Fools products. I certainly hope that a few of them make it to production in the coming year.

Mute it or click through to YouTube and hit the 1911 button if you can’t stand the soundtrack.

1. Will my kids like it?

Almost certainly, yes! Hop is a movie that features bunnies, chicks and an enormous Wonka-esque CGI candy factory — could it be any more clearly aimed at kids? It’s got jokes aplenty that kids will find hysterical, and not quite all of them are in the trailers. The actors do a great job interacting with the computer-animated characters, and the voice actors are terrific, making the whole thing very believable — it’s not hard at all to forget that E.B., the main bunny character, isn’t real.

2. Will I like it?

If you’re at all like me, you’ll enjoy it, though you won’t love it. I really didn’t expect to like it — I can’t stand the saccharine sweetness of so many kids’ holiday movies, but Hop had a refreshing (slight) edginess to it that made it more palatable. It has plenty of jokes that no kid is going to get, but that will make the adults they’re with laugh. From a sly (but totally benign) reference to a well-known Los Angeles residence to the appearance (and hysterical self-parody) of a celebrity most noted for TV shows in the ’80s and ’90s, it may provide you with a few things slightly tough to explain to your kids, but they’re amusing enough you won’t care.

3. It’s rated PG — anything I should be concerned about for my little kids?

Nah. There are a few tense moments, but nothing worse than you’ll find in any Disney film. I can understand being concerned upon hearing that Russell Brand does E.B.’s voice or that Chelsea Handler has a small part, but they both keep it clean. The PG rating is probably due to a few rude jokes, one of which (E.B. pooping jellybeans) is in the commercials and thus not going to surprise anyone.

4. When’s the best time for a bathroom break?

Hop lasts just over 90 minutes so, movie theater drink sizes being what they are these days, it’s entirely possible someone in your party will need to use the facilities partway through. The plot moves along fairly quickly, so there are no scenes that are completely extraneous, but I suggest going when Fred (the main human character, played by James Marsden) goes on a job interview. There’s plenty of funny stuff that happens there, but it does less to advance the plot than a lot of scenes around it, and its outcome is fairly predictable.

5. Do I need to sit through the end credits for a bonus scene?

There is a very short scene after the end credits that’s a callback to a joke earlier in the movie. It’s worth staying for if you can.

6. So, bottom-line it: What do you think of it?

It’s a fun film, though not much more than that. It’s not in danger of winning any Oscars for acting, screenwriting or directing, but would you really expect a holiday comedy film to be otherwise? It’s nice to see a funny, utterly areligious take on the Easter Bunny, considering that Santa films have been done and overdone. It could have used a bit more heart, a bit less obvious and abrupt an ending, and better lines for the amazing Hugh Laurie, who voices E.B.’s father (the current Easter Bunny) and Hank Azaria, who voices the amiable but dimwitted chick Phil and the villainous chick Carlos. Go to it expecting 90 minutes of escapism and I think you’ll enjoy it; go to it expecting real substance and you’ll be disappointed.

7. What toys should I expect my kids to ask for after they see it?

Well, I brought home a bunch of toys from the press junket I went on for the film, and my kids (a girl, 8 and a boy, 10) are most fond of the stuffed E.B.s with articulated ears. My daughter likes the pink beret, and I suspect will like it even more after she sees the film — the “pink berets” are a trio of female bunny ninjas/commandos who pursue E.B. and are pretty amusing. There are available, of course, plastic E.B.s that poop jellybeans. If you can accept that, the jellybeans aren’t bad.